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  男朋友突然说他不爱我了,要跟我分手。我现在很痛苦,我付出了太多。为什么这样,我并没有做过任何对不起他的事情,相反跟他恋爱的这一年多的时间里我拼命对他好,为他洗衣做饭,从来没有用过他的钱,基本都是花我的,对他没有任何要求,难道他还不满意?还要我做到怎么样呢?还是说男人都是犯贱的,对他太好付出太多所以他要离开我?

  而且在我们恋爱期间他经常提到他的前女友,语言里都是她的好,我很奇怪既然她这么好为什么要分手呢,当然这些我并没有说出来,本以为时间长了他就会忘记,现在才明白也许他心里一直都还是前女友的影子。

  我求他不要离开我,他让我给他点时间考虑,让他做选着,我现在觉得自己像一件东西,等着别人抛弃,或者继续使用,我感觉很受伤,我该怎么办啊?我好难受!

  维情情感咨询师:

  女孩,你的行为让我感到心痛。一个女孩恋爱时本应该享受着男友的呵护和疼爱,但在你这里看到都是你独自忙活讨好的身影,是爱他太深还是他不懂爱你?

  你的心里一定充满了对爱的渴望所以对他这样不计较付出,但现实给你迎头一击,或许是你男友良心发现或者老天也看不下去了,要把你从这种自虐式的爱中拯救出来。

  爱他需要你先学会爱自己,你心里的那个房间要有你的东西,把它打扮漂亮了才有人愿意走进来,并珍惜它。或许你真的喜欢他,希望对他好,但是别忘记了自己的框架,不能把自己损耗干净了来支撑你们之间的感情,比如从不要求他,钱都花你的,为他洗衣做饭,做这些之前看看他珍惜吗?还是理所当然。更要避免付出了越多就越不甘心放手,却忘记了爱情的最初方向。

  如果你明知道他的心里一直有个影子,你做再多也是徒劳,那么他今天有这样的举动也很正常,你应该庆幸自己只用付出一年多的时间就看清他,而你也从这次恋爱中明白,爱情需要两个平等的成熟的人才能好好谈。

  他所谓的要点时间思考,只是他的推托之词,或许他看到你的痛苦也不忍心,但是一个没有疼惜过你的男人最终还是会选择对自己好,何况即使他还跟你在一起,你能让他对你好,让他不把前女友放在心里吗?恐怕到时候你更被动,陷入一个付出越多越不甘心越付出的怪圈。你倒不如主动做个选择,第一次在这段关系中采取主动,结束纠结和痛苦。你是个好女孩,转身去寻找一个同样爱你的男生爱一场。至于你跟他只是往事,感谢他给你成长的机会。 @维情网 维情以涵


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